Picture opening your garage door, and backing down your driveway in your car, only to realize there is a thick white fog cast in the air. You turn on your headlights and try to see through the dense mist. However the fog doesn’t appear to be lifting, but rather appears to be be getting more dense. You feel confused and disoriented.
This is what its like living with my brain. I often forget appointments, names, things I am supposed to do, people I am supposed to call, when bills are due etc. Wait what was I just saying? Even if I have it written down, I usually don’t remember where I put that information. I also forget to take my medication. As someone who was always on the ball, ahead of the game and extremely organized, it is probably clear why this new fog like world is so disappointing. My doctors aren’t exactly sure which illness may be causing this. It could be the fibromyalgia, the pituitary tumor, the possible cushings disease, the sleep apnea, a secondary sleep disorder or something that has yet to be found. There is no better example to illustrate the consistent fog I live in than my experiences today.
I had to wake up at 6:30 this morning to take my husband to work. I was so exhausted per usual. I had an appointment at 10 this morning, so thought it best to stay up so I wouldn’t miss it. However I fell asleep. That is what normally occurs in these types of accounts isn’t it? Well low and behold, I missed my appointment, and it was a very important one. Lucky for me, they rescheduled for later this afternoon. I checked my phone and my husband had called me three times to wake me up. Apparently I even spoke to him! I don’t remember any of our conversation.
I head out on time, and am feeling good on my way to my appointment and even arrive early. Sitting in my car, I check to make sure have everything. This wouldn’t be a good account of someone who has a fog brain though if I had remembered everything. I realize I have left my portfolio at home. I buried my face in my hands. I can’tbelieve it. But thought that couldn’t be the worst thing. I was mistaken looked down and saw what the worst thing was. I never shaved my legs! All of the showers I had taken in the days prior and never took care of that basic hygiene practice? How embarrassing.
Its really discouraging that I can’t remember simple things anymore. Whatever is going on with my health is affecting every aspect of my life. I have weeks that go by where I forget every appointment that is scheduled that week. I hope my doctors’ figure out what is causing this before I forget my own name.
Until next time,
Fog-brained Sam
A Forever Patient: A Day in the Life 